A Whispering Heart

I have a recurring dream that I am driving a car that is careering down a hill and the brakes won’t work.  My foot is heavy on the floor,  and my hand is pulling at the hand break.  My fingers are fiddling for the keys, as magically if I turn the ignition off, the car will stop.   But the car just speeds up.  My stomach is lurching, like the feeling when you swing too high in the air. I wake up with nervous knots and a sweaty forehead, my body is frozen. I am a practical person. Logical. Positive. I know it’s not real, but I believe that your dreams tell you something.  

Life is flashing before my eyes.  Time is hurtling by and I just can’t seem to keep up. Maybe my pre children motherhood daydreams were more fantasy than reality but I can’t shake the feeling that this is not how life is meant to be.  I feel rushed, stressed and constantly juggling.  I know, I know life as a mother is one big juggling act but this life has become a circus.   There are just too many balls in the air and not enough hands or coordination to catch them.  Kids, Marriage, House, School, Kids Activities, Kids School, Kids Social Lives, Blogging, Work, Friends, Family, Life.

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I am exhausted just thinking about it. In fact that’s how I feel most of the time. Exhausted.  Shouldn’t I be enjoying this?

Little Miss A only has one year left at home before starting Kindergarten. One year.  I have been there before and I know for certain that I will blink my eyes and be packing her school bag.  She is our last “baby”.  I can’t waste another minute.  The time is NOW. So we are making changes.  Big changes.  We are listing priorities in our lives.  Talking about the BIG stuff not just the everyday.  How long has it been since we REALLY looked at our lives?

Where do we want to be in ten years? What do we need to do to live our dream life?

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What are our dream jobs?

What lifestyle do we want for our children?

What is important to ME, US, OUR FAMILY?

We don’t want to sweat the small stuff, we want to tackle the big things. HEAD ON.

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We are dreamers, we are planners, we are talkers, we ARE CRAZY but we are determined to be the ones who not just “dream” but “do”.

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  1. I remember as a kid having this same dream every night before bed, even now I get chills about it although I cant remember everything that was in it!
    Our kids grow up so quickly that sometimes our mind is trying to tell us something in our dreams! We have started looking to our future and where we want to be in 5, 10 and 20 years! The time is now to get started on it!

  2. Pre-children motherhood fantasies… I get it!! I LOVE kids, I am irrevocably, world-turning in love with my kids. But I’m not as awesome as I thought I would be at motherhood. And in a couple of months, my son will be 3. THREE?! Where DOES the time go?!

  3. I guess I’ve already and sometimes on that odd occasion travel on that road of wondering what my “dream” life or job is. After planning so many different avenues and having unforseen circumstances happen, it has taught me that no matter how much you plan, there will be something that will cause you to change that plan & even if it might be frustrating at first not to achieve what you’ve set out so clearly. Sometimes that u-turn or fork in the road does lead to better and brighter things.

  4. Dreams have a way of scaring us into action. I love the quote don’t put off your happy life.
    It is good you can make the changes now.

  5. My hubby and I have been discussing similar things lately. We’ve been so caught up in day to day life that neither of us know where we’re headed anymore. Time for a 10 year plan for us too. xox


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